Bent

We’ve been at Zion National Park for the last two day. Zion is peaceful and beautiful. I’m sad that we only planned on two days here. When we get home, I’ll share some pictures with you. We hiked and meandered our way through part of the park. We will be back to see more – hopefully I won’t wait another 46 years to come back.

Zion has a wonderful shuttle system which keeps the canyon free of traffic. The shuttles come by every six minutes or so which means hardly any waiting. During our six minute waits, I took hundreds of pictures. I know my pictures will not do this beautiful place justice, but I’ll share some of them anyway. One of our shuttle drivers was named Bent. He was from Denmark. His name sent my mind wandering.

I thought about the song, “Bent,” by Matchbox 20.
Lyrics: (some of them anyway)

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just phoning it in
Just breaking the skin

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.

For a long time this is how I felt. I still feel bent, but I’m okay with that. My pieces may never get put back together, and I am okay with that as well. Most days I like having pieces.

Today we stopped at Chuck a Rama for lunch. I had a piece of German chocolate cake. Of course I scraped of the chocolate frosting before I ate it. Then I sat and looked at the pile of chocolate frosting and asked myself, “Why do you do that?”

“I don’t like frosting; it is too sweet,” I answered.

“But you used to like frosting.”

“Yes, I did.”

So I stuck my finger in the frosting and licked it. It was very sweet, but in small doses – the size of a finger full – it was tasty. I still don’t think I could eat the frosting made of shortening; it is way too greasy. But maybe I have moved past the picking in the cake incident enough to enjoy frosting once again. It has been 42 years. I’ll write more about it sometime this week. Today I am on vacation and can’t bring myself to think about it in detail.

The fortune in my fortune cookie said, “Stay close to your inner self; you will benefit in many ways.” Now if I could just figure out all my inner selves, I’d be happy to stay close to them all. ;)