Feed the Littles

I wrote this post last night after dinner.

If you have DID or are familiar with it, you know that littles are the parts, alters, or others who are still babies or children. Alters need the attention and care they didn’t get when the host (the body) was a child. Every person with DID has what is called a system. Each system is unique. DID is a creative coping mechanism that the abused child creates. Because the abuse is severe, alters are created for the sole purpose of helping the host survive the trauma. The child can switch to an alter that was created to deal with the abuse and keep their own identity/mind/self safe. Each alter is created for a specific purpose; they have a role or job. My system has five littles that I am aware of. When I was first diagnosed with DID, I thought there was just me and one child alter. However, as my healing progresses and my alters feel safe, they make themselves known to me. As they become known to me, we can often share co-consciousness which eliminates me losing time when I switch.

When I was a child, we (my sisters, mother, and I) went hungry often. Because of this, I love food and I love to cook. When I am stressed, I find it comforting to feed not only myself, but also my littles. When I take care of my littles by doing things that I know they will like, they learn to trust me which promotes healing and co-consciousness. Some therapists feel that a person with DID is not healed until they have integrated all their parts, but for me, integration is not my goal – co-consciousness is my goal. I hate to lose time more than anything else. When I lose time, I feel like a failure. I know that I need to trust the system and the process, but losing time is scary.

Tonight I made Creamy Chicken Soup and home made bread. The bread turned out so good. I used my Bosch Universal – best kitchen appliance we ever bought. Here are the ingredients I used:

2 cups warm water
3 teaspoons yeast
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons salt
2 handfuls of rolled oats – crushed up a bit
and because I was out of milk, I added two large spoonfuls of plain yogurt.

I mixed in enough flour to make a soft, smooth, non sticky dough, let it double, punched it down, shaped it into two loaves, put it into Pam sprayed loaf pans, let is rise again, and baked it at 375 for 30 minutes. After it came out of the oven, I rubbed butter over the top of the loaves.

This bread was so good. It rose higher, was moister, and had a wonderful texture. I think I’ll keep plain yogurt on hand for the next baking day.

The soup is one of our favorites. It is warm and creamy with chunks of chicken and potatoes.

Creamy Chicken Potato Soup
4 large potatoes, peeled and diced
1 lb chicken breast diced
2 carrots grated
1 cup diced onions
3 cups water
1 cup milk
4 oz cream cheese or Velveeta
1 bag country gravy mix
1 tsp parsley flakes
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese - add at the end - just before serving

Cook chicken until done. Combine water, chicken, potatoes, carrots and onion in large pot. Bring to boil then simmer 15 minutes. Add parsley and cream cheese or Velveeta stirring until cheese is melted. Add milk and gravy mix, stir with wire whisk until all lumps are gone. Cook over low heat or in your crock pot for 2 to 3 hours. Top with shredded cheese just before serving.

Because I never have country gravy on hand, I mix up some chicken bouillon, flour, and spices and use that instead. Tonight I was a bit heavy handed with the pepper and salt, but it still tasted good. My husband who is a salt-aholic said it was just right. My 3D family and my internal alters are all satisfied. Yum!