Thank you to a dear teacher. . .

Before Ientered my favorite teacher’s fifth grade classroom, I was afraid of her. I’d heard from other students that she was strict and scary. I prayed I wouldn’t be assigned to her room, but when class lists came out, my name was near the top of her list. I was scared.

On the first day of school, I went in expecting the worst, but I discovered that while she didn’t put up with any nonsense, she was fair. I knew what to expect in her classroom. She didn’t play favorites – everyone was expected to do their best and to treat others kindly.
           
 This was the hardest year of my school life. Because of my family background, I became a target for the mean girls. Recess became a nightmare of teasing and taunting. However, as I entered her room, the teasing stopped because she wouldn’t have tolerated it. I felt safe. She didn’t judge me based on who my parents were. She loved me. I knew she loved me, and knowing this made each day a little more bearable. Recess was a time of extreme sadness, loneliness, and depression, but the days in her room were pleasant. I don’t remember what I learned that year, but I remember that she made me feel important.

I often wonder what she thought when I took the herbal supplements mom sent with me at lunch time. Now that I am teacher, I wonder what she thought about my home life. I wonder if she prayed for me. I bet she did. I bet she prayed I would find friendship. I bet she prayed that other children would be kind to me. It was hard having my one good friend in a different classroom that year. But part way through the year, another girl with a crazy home life moved in, so of course we became friends and the taunting at recess was easier to take.

She couldn’t have known how truly troubled I was. She didn’t know that I wished for death during recess or that I wished for the courage to drown myself in the creek that flowed next to our school. She probably just tried to help me as best she could. I wish I could tell her that her best was enough.

I didn’t see her for many years after I left that school. I went to her viewing after she died. She still looked the same – beautiful. Teachers often don’t know the impact they make on a child. I am thankful God blessed me with this great teacher. I am glad he said, “No,” to my prayer and put me on her list. She blessed my life in ways she will never know.