Back to School

School has started. I am happy and a bit sad to be back in school. When my husband said, “You are back in teacher mode,” it made me sad because I know there are other parts of me that he likes so much better. I also feel sad for the alters whose time in front will now be limited. Last night before I fell asleep, I thought, “I have to get as much done at school as possible, so I can still have time for the others when I get home, yet as I left school today, I knew that I had too much work to do at home tonight for anyone else but the teacher to be out. I like getting to know my students. So far, I think I have a pretty good group of students – all 205 of them – a few less than last year.

The last month has been a bit crazy. I learned that no one should have to bury a child, and that an accident can only be made light of if all the participants are able to walk away from the crash. When no one walks away, the results are beyond devastating. I learned that next summer I need to plan my funeral so that my family doesn’t have to do so when they are in the middle of their grief. I learned more than I even want to know about planning a funeral. I learned that there are angels around us who are willing to reach out and help a neighbor/friend in their time of need. I love that part.

I learned that some people will do everything in their power to hold onto pain and bitterness, and they will strike out at whoever is handy – even if that isn’t the person they are really mad at. I learned that some people hurt others to avoid having to take responsibility for their own actions. I learned that it is pretty pointless to poison (with bitterness) yourself in hopes that it will hurt someone else.

I learned that seeing a child marry the person of their dreams is a wonderful thing. I love seeing hope and joy brought back into my child’s life by an amazing person. I am thankful that my child was married and not buried, but I am sad for my friend whose child was buried.

I learned that I still really like all of my children. They are pretty awesome people. I love my children, but it is even better to like who they are.

I learned that I can’t fix everything or everyone, but I can give it to God, and he will pick up the slack and bring peace to my heart and soul.

Life is good even if it is a bit chaotic.