Lowest Ebb

As we approach the end of the school year, I find myself questioning if I want to be a full time teacher. I enjoy teaching. For the most part, I like my students. I enjoy the staff, administration, and other faculty members at our school. I even enjoy coming up with creative and fun ways to present information to my students. I don’t like the bureaucracy or the time a teacher must spend outside of school in order to do a good job as a teacher.


My students are pretty good kids. I have a few that no matter what I do to inspire them, they refuse to do their work. I wish I could inspire them. I keep trying, but they don’t want to take the time to work. They are capable, they do okay on their testing, but they don’t want to do the day to day work, so they fail. I had dreams as a new teacher of making sure every one of my students passed, but I can’t do their work for them. I have one or two students per class who just don’t want to do the work. I have a couple of students who work really hard and still don’t get it. Those students are being tested to see how we can better meet their needs.

I work with a stellar group of teachers at my school. For the most part, our teachers really care about the students. They spend countless hours on their own dime to help our students succeed. Our administration is helpful and supportive. I don’t think I could work in a better school. However, I am burned out. I am in dire need of summer to get here. I am sick of our state leaders passing new education laws each February without waiting to see if the laws they passed last year even worked. I am tired of state leaders who add in testing that doesn’t pertain to our core. This means I have to take time away from what my students will see on their CRT tests to teach them a skill that they aren’t yet ready to master. I am tired of bureaucracy interrupting my classroom. I say, “Just leave us and alone, so we can commence learning.” Many of the new laws are demoralizing to teachers. I wish they would come spend three months in a classroom and sit through parent teacher conferences before they could pass laws that dictate which hoops we need to jump through.

The other issue I have with being a full time teacher is that my alters, who are not present during school hours, have taken over in the evenings and on weekends. It is not possible to do everything a teacher needs to do during the school day, but my alters want nothing to do with anything school related after hours. I have to fight all weekend to get things done that need to be done. I also have a problem with alters being out at night after I go to bed. I can feel them, and my sleep is not restful.

I’ve been told that next year will be better, but next year we get a new core which means I need to realign all my lesson plans and create new lesson plans. I know that this is the point of the year when teachers are at their lowest ebb, so I hope things will get better. If any of you are teachers, please tell me I’ll get through this. I’ve been told by administration that I am a good teacher. I know I reach students. I generally love being the classroom, but damn, I am tired.