School - I feel like it is all I think, dream, eat, and sleep.
I am six weeks into my first year. I have graded thousands of papers, survived parent teacher conferences, and will shortly, hopefully, survive my first evaluations.
I spotted a child who was labeled as lazy and gave him a new label - English Language Learner. Unfortunately, this means I don't get to keep him in my class - even though he is doing well and trying hard - because the law states he has to have a teacher who is ESL certified. I cried when I discovered his problem because I kept hearing that he was the laziest kid in the world from his other teachers. I kept saying, "I know I haven't been here long, but I don't think he is lazy. I see him trying to process. He is trying in my class."
He speaks English without an accent. He had a test score on his record that was extremely high. The test score wasn't his, but it led his teachers to brand him as lazy. It took me four weeks, countless prayers on his behalf, and research to figure out what was going on with this kid. I treated him like a language learner because his process was so similar to what I saw when I was a student teacher. After I found out why he struggled, I said to him, “I didn’t know you spoke two languages – you must be really smart.” He smiled and told me that they don’t speak English at home. I am sad to see him leave my classroom, but at least now he can thrive - he proved this in my classroom. I am proud of him. I hope he keeps progressing.
I struggle with having Trina out so much. She is a good teacher, but because she has to be out so much right now, the other parts are not getting their time. I know that next year will be easier because I will have my curriculum developed (as long as they don’t change the grade I teach). I spend countless hours creating the lesson plans for my students each day and then grading their work each night.
I love teaching, but at times I feel overwhelmed and tired. Now that my computer is working again, I will try to update the blog more often. I feel I’ve been sucked into the school vortex and can’t quite make my way out of it. Because so much of my time is spent at school or doing things related to school, I feel the rest of my life is being viewed from Trina’s eyes. She is emotionally detached from all other aspects. Often I feel I am watching my life outside of school from outside of my body. I look forward to summer when all the other parts of me can come out to play. I haven’t cooked a real meal for long time. I am planning – energy permitting – on making a real dinner tomorrow. If all goes well, I’ll have a good recipe for you soon.
Thanks for visiting my blog even when I am not here.
Sunshine
Story Time – Part Two
7 years ago

10 comments:
Glad to see you're back! :)
I know I'm only student teaching right now, but I know how you feel! I too feel like I'm watching things through my "teaching" alter. My other alters (and me included) hardly have any time to be out and it is difficult... I am looking forward to the October break I have next week! (it's like Spring break, only in October!)
*Bee
I've missed you ALL !
Who is the scrapbooker?
I wanna come play with her. :)
hugs,
**
So glad you are back - I missed you all.
Thanks everyone - it is good to be back.
I believe that Laura is the Scrapbooker.
Bee - I can hardly wait for fall break. I need some time for my other alters.
Sounds like you are a GREAT teacher! Thanks for all you do to try and make a difference. It matters. What you do MATTERS and in ways you'll never know about but they're real nonetheless.
I haven't visited your blog in a while - saw an Oprah show about people with DID and thought I would poke my head in and see how you were.
I didn't realize you were a teacher and it sounds like you are a very caring teacher, the kind parents would want. Hope you have a good and prosperous school year.
That's great about the boy! It's interesting what parents do and don't tell you about their children, for whatever reason. Sometimes not knowing helps you see them with fresh eyes, other times you wish you had known sooner so that you could have helped them all along.
Glad your computer's back. I think overwhelmed and tired is normal for the first couple years and then...it's still overwhelming & tiring! At least from here in my 10th year of teaching, it still gets overwhelming at times. Nothing like that first year though!
You sound like a very caring teacher.
My daughter was labled as slow all through public school. But she was extremely shy.
It wasn't until she got a teacher that didn't read what the other teachers labled her, then she thrived. The teacher told her there are no wrong answers and no stupid questions.
My daughter graduated with honors in highschool.
I'm pretty excited about finding your blog. One of me is a teacher as well. It's all I do - I am so exhausted from maintaining my system during the work day that I come home, walk, eat, and go to sleep. I've been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder since 2001 and I've been a teacher since 1993. I totally relate to what you're saying about others not getting time. This is why I facebook and blog and read blogs as me, Sarah...so that I have some time. I'm not the teacher, but I am co-conscious with her and we are like siamese twins. Thank you for your post. My blog is
http://sarahsmithetal.blogspot.com/
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